​​Jessica Olers's Story

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Sometimes it doesn't turn out as planned. Ever since I was little, I have dreamed of a big family with many children. I myself have two siblings who mean everything to me and so I always imagined for my son Noah to grow up with siblings. I never thought it wouldn't be possible; Naively I thought it worked the first time so it will work a second time? Oh how wrong I was…

After years of hope and despair, seven IVF attempts, a nulliparous pregnancy and an ectopic pregnancy where one of my fallopian tubes was removed, I have now come to a point where I feel like I can no longer mourn what didn't happen. Instead, I choose to be happy with what I actually have. The world's most beautiful boy for whom I am so incredibly grateful.

If someone had asked me a few years ago, I would never have thought I would be here. I've been so sad, so angry and so disappointed in life, that it couldn't give me what I most wanted. Afraid that the feeling of sadness would stay with me forever...that I would never be able to live life to the fullest but always feel disappointed and sad about what didn't happen.

Now I have finally accepted that it was "just" one child for me and although the sadness can still come over me sometimes, I can now deal with it, because I know that it is not permanent. I have "landed" in the place that was meant for me, I just needed time to heal, process and "repaint" my picture that I so strongly envisioned with several children.

So, to anyone who has asked and wondered over the years when we're going to give Noah a sibling. Now you don't need to ask any more. If I had to decide, he would have had a sibling a long time ago. But now life has chosen something different and no matter how much I wish, I can't change it.

And to all of you out there struggling, all the love to you. ❤️