Tova’s Story

This is #mybumpystory - an emotional rollercoaster with repeated miscarriages and hopefully soon a baby. It actually feels like my journey started many years ago when I first became pregnant, which wasn’t planned. My partner didn’t feel ready. We decided to get an abortion and after I went through with it the longing of becoming a mother grew stronger. I was angry at myself and terrified that the abortion would somehow punish me in the future.

In the summer of 2020 we both felt ready and I became pregnant. That pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. Two months later I became pregnant once again, but it also ended in a miscarriage. I remember thinking that maybe I am being punished after all. Googling became an obsession. I was googling several hours a day. Why is this happening to me?

I got pregnant again. This time I got progesterone and blood thinners to take and in week 8 we saw for the first time a heart beat but sadly it stopped a week later. I got pregnant again a few weeks later. But in week 11 I had yet another miscarriage.

Around this time I went through every type of medical evaluation available. Everything was normal and I was told there was nothing that could be done. I felt alone and scared. IVF wasn’t an option according to the doctors since I had no problem getting pregnant. I called Huddinge reproductive medicine clinic in Sweden to ask if we could do PGD testing (genetic diagnosis of embryo). But they declined. Instead I was told to keep myself occupied with something else and put our efforts on hold for a while. How does one do that? Maybe I told others that I was over it, but I was still obsessing and felt devastated. Every time I was ovulating I felt crazy and depressed.

After this I got pregnant again. I decided that this time around I wasn’t going to take any medicine and not contact my doctor until a bit later in the pregnancy as my mind was still set on a miscarriage. I am now in week 31 and over the moon.

To those of you who are still struggling: you are not alone! There are so many of us out there that are going through a bumpy road. We just need to get better at talking about it.

Other Articles

Veronica’s Story

To make babies. Nowadays that phrase has a completely different meaning.In february 2019 we decided ... Read article

The effects of Vitamin D on fertility

Vitamin D is a vitamin synthesized in the skin through sun exposure (UVB radiation). Moreover, vitam... Read article

Samantha's Story

I knew from the start that it was hard to conceive a child of our own with my partner. As a child he... Read article

Male factor infertility

The definition of male factor infertility is when the cause of infertility within a couple is becaus... Read article

Endometriosis

The European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (ESHRE) has recently released an updated g... Read article

Intrauterine Insemination

Intrauterine insemination (IUI), also called artificial insemination (AI), is a type of fertility tr... Read article

Jessica Olers's Story

Sometimes it doesn't turn out as planned. Ever since I was little, I have dreamed of a big family wi... Read article

Jessica’s Story

I have been pregnant three times. Or actually while writing this story, I am pregnant. But I don't f... Read article

Klara’s Story

Our infertility journey started two years ago. The process has not at all been what we expected and ... Read article

Helen's Story

Since we are two girls, we knew from the get-go that having a baby would include some type of proces... Read article

In vitro fertilization (IVF)

In vitro fertilization (IVF) means that the fertilization between the oocyte and the sperm takes pla... Read article

Fertility Treatment Abroad

Traveling abroad for fertility treatment is increasing as there are benefits. There are people who c... Read article

Practical tips on how to take care of yourself after experiencing pregnancy loss

Miscarriage is a sorrow and it is ok to be sad and grieve! There is often more than one thing to gri... Read article

Choosing a fertility clinic a critical decision

Finding a great fertility clinic is more than researching success rates, it’s also about empathetic ... Read article

Are fertility struggles getting the better of your mental well-being?

This article is written together with Tilly, a mental health app specifically designed for supportin... Read article

Infertility – an emotional rollercoaster

Emotions are both wonderful and terrible. Without contact with our emotions, both positive and more ... Read article

Secondary Infertility: Unable to have another child

The inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after previously giving birth to one or more ... Read article

Strategies to get through the summer

As the summer season unfolds, it's the perfect time to set your vision for joy and fulfillment. Whil... Read article

IVF Lingo

We know that when you’re about to start your journey with IVF, whether it’s to become pregnant or fr... Read article

Understanding PCOS and its impact on fertility

June is International Infertility Awareness Month, a time to highlight the experiences of those faci... Read article

Understanding Preimplantation Genetic Testing (PGT)

In short, Preimplantation genetic testing (PGT) is a sophisticated screening test that can be perfor... Read article